Professionally Despicable
The joy? of being discounted in more than one way
Tammy and I drove down the gravel road towards the place that would be our new home a few miles outside of a “bump in the road” called Chokio in western Minnesota. We were about to meet the people who would turn over the keys to the farmstead and I am sure there was excitement and trepidation on all sides.
We parked our car in a spot that seemed like it was close enough to being part of the driveway but out of the way of those who would be departing. Then we climbed out of the Saturn - a vehicle that wasn’t a common sight on dusty country roads. The previous owner gave us one of those appraising looks that told us a whole host of mental calculations and adjustments were being made in a short moment. Then he commented, with an interesting mix of surprise, relief, and amusement, “Well, that’s not what I was expecting.”
The Unexpected Doesn’t Match the Stereotype
I must confess that my memory for this event after that point is not as sharp as it used to be. But, I can tell you why the very first words that left the lips of a person I was meeting for the very first time were “Well, that’s not what I was expecting.” I can also tell you that I have heard variations on that phrase throughout my life in a wide range of circumstances.
And it doesn’t have much to do with who I am as much as it has to do with the images of stereotypes we build, hold - and sometimes cherish - in our own minds.
These people had been told that two young college professors were moving to the area to work at the University of Minnesota - Morris and that we wanted to live in the country.
Now take a minute and erase the images of Rob and Tammy (if you know what we are like) and build your own image of these two people using your stored stereotypes. What might they be wearing and what is it that they likely would be driving? What attitude would they take with the people they were meeting? What sort of reasons do you think they had for wanting to live in the country? And, what surprises might they encounter that - if you didn’t hold college professors in high esteem - you might gleefully anticipate?
While I am at it - how prepared do you think they would be for the flat farmland that is Stevens County where the population density is about 17.8 per square mile? If that number doesn’t mean anything to you, let me give you some comparisons. We currently live in Bremer County, Iowa, which has a population density of 55.4 per square mile. When we moved here from Chokio, we were a bit shell-shocked by how busy it was. We actually see vehicles go by our farm on the gravel road here - we didn’t in Chokio. For additional points of reference, Polk County, where Des Moines is located, has a density of 833 per square mile and Chicago is at 12,059 per square mile.
So let’s talk about that stereotype for academics for a minute. And remember, a stereotype often holds truths - exaggerated truths or not globally accurate truths - but truths nonetheless.
Academics have this annoying habit of acting like they can do anybody’s job better than everyone else. Or, at least, they act like they KNOW more or could easily know more about it than you. And if they don’t know it, it’s not worth knowing. They like to wield their superiority as a weapon, making it clear that you are inferior if you don’t have a similar level of education. And, frankly, they might think you’re inferior if you don’t study the right topics, didn’t graduate from the right university, or have a raft of publications to your name even if you DO have that degree.
Of course, this young academic couple would have no clue what they’re getting into when it comes to the stuff regular people do. Their hands would be as soft as their wit is sharp. In the eyes of a rural American (there’s another stereotype!), academics are fluffed up roosters that have no clue how to go about barnyard management. They crow a lot, but that’s about all they’re capable of. About all they are useful for is a source of irritation to the real people that belong in the rural community.
This is why, when I stepped out of a car, they were about to get a shock. What they saw was a slightly shaggy guy wearing worn jeans, a red baseball cap, and a t-shirt. They recognized the dirt under my fingernails as I grasped their hand in welcome. I wore the aura of rural worker or blue collar everyman comfortably.
Tammy, to her credit, is far better looking (I would say gorgeous - but that’s my personal joy), but she was also dressed comfortably and in clothing that hinted at the willingness (and ability) to work - and work hard.
It was interesting to watch while their brains tried to make sense of the inconsistencies.
An Experienced Target of Disdain
I admit that I’m an odd duck. I’ve been on both sides of the town/gown divide - working as a professor and working outside of the college. I’ve worked in offices and outdoors and I’ve lived as both a city mouse and a country mouse. I’ve been a worker bee and a boss, a public employee, and a non-profit advocate. I’ve worked as a professional in a for-profit business and I’ve been self-employed. I’ve lived below the poverty line and received public support and I’ve been able to take longer trips to places like Kauai. I’ve been a learner and a teacher. I’ve crossed the lines between vocation and avocation. I’ve been a beginner, merely competent, and an expert.
And I’ve felt the disdain that comes from those that think each of these descriptors is worthy of scorn. I have been an unwashed heathen. It has been assumed that I am a know-it-all that has no actual skills. I’ve been an intruder from “the outside.”
And I have taken great delight over the years in surprising people when I don’t fit the stereotype they believe fully describes me.
I have been the socially awkward farmer in the jeans, red hat and hoodie sweatshirt speaking at a conference. I have looked at the faces of people who are bracing themselves to tolerate what is bound to be a terribly uncomfortable eternity listening while that farmer attempts to speak. Those looks move to shock and surprise when that same person they assumed would fail miserably competently finishes a ten minute talk at 9 minutes 58 seconds with an excellent concluding statement.
Who knew that a farmer could actually be good at public speaking?
I’ve also been a chameleon, blending in - but not because of any effort on my part. I blend in because people make the assumption that I am the stereotype. I've been in conversations with other rural folk at moments when the conversation has moved to the “evil” that is post-secondary education. Those professors clearly have an agenda to turn our young people against us, you know! It’s interesting to watch the scramble to find a place for a new reality when I reveal that I, too, have been one of those professors and that my greatest task was the well-being and learning of those who were in my classes. It had nothing to do with indoctrination against their old life and more to do with helping them realize their best selves - whatever that ended up being.
The phrases “but I don’t mean you specifically” and “I’m sure you’re different” get frequent exercise around me when I reveal a facet of my life that doesn’t fit the stereotype whose mantle I am wearing at the moment.
Business owners only care about the bottom line and don’t put their employees health above profit. But I am sure you’re different.
Workers can’t be trusted to put their best effort into a job, so we shouldn’t treat them like competent and trusted collaborators. But I didn’t mean you specifically, of course.
People in rural communities are too dumb to know what’s good for them. You’re just the exception.
Public employees are soft and lazy because they aren’t held accountable. But I’m sure you did what you needed to do because you seem to work hard.
Individuals who use government grants or work in positions that rely on government grants are stealing taxpayer dollars. Yet I would trust you if you were the one who got the money. If they were all like you, we would be fine.
People in cities don’t know how to work hard and they act like they’re entitled to things they haven’t earned. Oh… you lived in a city. Well, I am sure you didn’t do things that way.
Gosh. It sure is nice that you think I am at least a little bit better than the stereotype you seem to despise so much - I guess. Except, moments ago, you were certain anyone who looked like they fit the boxes you’ve constructed were certainly worthy of your despite.
And I was among them.
And even though you just created a little space for me to reside separately from them, I will gladly remain standing with them.
Until you recognize we all have value - just like you.
The Benefit of Mingling with the Professionally Despicable
I am sure there are other people out there who can make a claim for a much more wide-reaching life than I do. And I don’t want to make you all think that I feel like I have it worse than anyone else. But I think I can still make a claim that I have experienced enough negative stereotyping from enough angles to offer a few thoughts.
Take the time to talk with or observe someone who falls into a stereotype that you feel negatively about. Be curious… not judgemental.*
And don’t stop at one person in that group. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing more than once.
So, Rob, what’s the hardest part working with poultry on the farm?
What part of teaching did you like most?
Have you been writing for a long time? What is it about the country that you really like? What do you wish your employees understood about your business? Was there a time a supervisor did something that really helped you?
*yes, yes - I recognize this has been recently popularized by Ted Lasso (a “tv” show). Maybe that’s a topic for another day.
Consider what the worst example or representative of your own groups look like.
Humans can be particularly good at nursing anger and hurt. It’s easiest if we can construct someone else to blame - as long as we can pretend they’re not human like we are. In a way, it doesn’t help that there ARE individuals that fit the bad stereotypes all too well. Unfortunately, their example “earns” the whole group a significant share of despite.
If you find yourself hating a group and imagining the worst example you can find, take a moment and imagine the worst example IN YOUR OWN GROUP(S) and consider how poorly they represent you. Yes, that’s where you’ll find the truth of what others think of you when they only know the stereotype that describes you and they are predisposed to dislike it.
Ask yourself - how much of your anger towards certain people comes from not really understanding what they do, who they are, and what they experience?
The odds are pretty good that you have very little clue what anyone else is experiencing. If you haven’t experienced it, you probably don’t know enough to make declarative statements or stand in judgement. Yet most of us do this daily.
It’s time for that to stop. Heck, it was time for it to stop years, decades, centuries ago. It’s a bad human trait we need to be aware of and constantly work against.
Start with realistic, then work on getting better.
Let me first acknowledge that there are certainly MANY times that people fall short of the mark. It’s just how humanity is. There are definitely people who are not good at what they do or are not motivated to do well at fulfilling their duties. There are even those who intend to do ill. You will encounter them. You or yours may even be harmed by them.
It’s not good and it isn’t right.
But there are many MORE who are good people that are reasonably effective in their jobs and who are relatively motivated to do what needs to be done. Get it out of your head that everyone should be or is above average. Then get it out of your head that those who don’t meet your standards of perfection are unworthy of basic respect and decency. Believe it or not, average isn’t a bad thing at all.
And then there are some who are highly motivated and/or very good at what they do and who they are. We need to remember that they, like us, are not perfect.
And believe it or not, you are also far from perfect. I remember reading something about the log in your eye versus the speck in someone else’s somewhere…
And we all need to do what we can to simply be better each and every day.
Mercy and grace starts before you find yourself needing to make an exception for the person in front of you.
We are where we are - in a state, nation, and world that is divided and full of anger, hate and intolerance - because we are more proficient in our scorn than we are in exercising our skills of mercy, grace, gratitude and kindness. We have pushed away from each other so effectively that we made it easy for bad actors to gain power and push agendas that serve only them.
In the end, I find myself being grateful for a life of being despicable. Because it is in those moments where I have not been acceptable that I have learned to become more accepting. But acceptance is only half the battle.
The next step is to find ways to be supportive of those who need it. I’m working on it.
Thank you once again for reading and considering my thoughts and words. I hope they are of service.
Something you can do today
I am going to continue to do my best to share actions you can take and perhaps, make a difference.
Today, I would like to suggest that you take this action in support of Iowa’s public libraries. This action would ask your Representative to oppose two bills - HF 880 and HF 521.
HF 880 would prohibit public libraries from being dues-paying members of the American Library Association, the Iowa Library Association, and other professional organizations. Essentially, having membership would result in the loss of a library’s Enrich Iowa funds. Reimbursements provided through Enrich Iowa’s Open Access and Interlibrary Loan programs promote efficient collection and use of materials across Iowa’s libraries. As a person in a very rural area of the state, this enables me and those around me access to materials that would not normally be within reach without significant travel.
Restricting libraries from membership in professional organizations is also a bad idea. As is true for most professions, these sorts of organizations aid individuals in doing their job more effectively and efficiently. For example, I wonder how farmers would feel if they had funding withheld if they had membership or connection with groups like the Farm Bureau or Farmers Union?
HF521 seeks to remove exemptions in Iowa Code Ch. 728, exposing libraries, schools, and educators to unnecessary legal and financial risks. These institutions operate under well-established obscenity laws, which already ensure that materials lacking educational or cultural value are not protected. This bill would restrict every Iowan’s right to access information and make their own choices, free from the influence of others.
Thank you for making a difference.